


Broken

by nuznate



Category: A Single Man (2009)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, POV George Falconer, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 02:59:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12289800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuznate/pseuds/nuznate
Summary: How many times a heart can be broken before it actually breaks…and we finally die?





	Broken

How many times a heart can be broken before it actually breaks…and we finally die?

Death is the thing we all have in common. Death is our certain future. I have no fear to die. Not anymore.

As often as a man my age can, I dream about him. Most of them are usually about that night. The detailed scenarios are not quite the same everytime but the certain facts are always there. The facts that are the same cold, snowy night with a broken car and a dead man.

Last night, again, I dreamed about him. It was surprisingly a good dream this time, where I could see his beautiful face, kiss his soft lips, hear his laughter after I kissed him for the third time and got lost in his scent. He smiled his same sweet smile I loved so much, looked at me in the eyes and said, only one word.

“Live.”

Then I woke up, tuned in the life of a still living man and felt terribly worse than any other days I had been through. Realization of the present hit me harder than any bad dream recoveries. The fact that those were just a dream, beautiful yet so painful memories, left me hanging on the cold, lonely present with no direction to go, felt blinder than a blind man and a crunch in the heart felt more painful than ever.

The empty left side of the bed even seemed to be colder.

I breathed in the air, another confirmation of my living, even I did not want to. I put my right hand on my neked chest, feeling my heart beat slowly under it.

Despite a broken heart or the same heart shatters in pieces for the hundredth time, now I am quite certain that it will never actually break. Despite the awful pain we get, in the end we still have to live, to suffer, to mourn.

We have no way out.

You cannot die from a heart break even if that is the only thing in your life that you know you certainly want.

And you know you really, extreamly, want it.

I need to find my way out.

So I got up this morning, my mind was never more calm and clear, while I was getting ready to be the same George, I thought about all the plans.

First, the papers, then, the gun.

.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my old work. Please leave some comments.


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